Coming back shouldnt be harder than leaving in the first place.

An open letter to women who have left the Catholic Church:

We want to invite you to come talk with us, and we are excited to meet you! Just like you, we are daughters, sisters, wives, and mothers; students, professionals, and stay-at-home moms. We are teenagers, 20-somethings, 30-somethings, and beyond. We are from many walks of life and from diverse backgrounds, but we share a common faith - one we want to invite you to revisit.

Some of us have been away from the Church, and by one way or another we've come back. Some of us never left - but that doesn't mean we’ve never questioned nor been confused. Some of us were raised outside of the Church, and made the decision to join as adults. In one way or another, each one of us has come to know and love Christ in the Catholic Church - and in keeping with Pope Francis’ request we want to share that love and joy with you.

Being Catholic isn’t easy, and we’ll be the first to tell you that we aren’t perfect; we have many planks in our own eyes to worry about. Our faith embraces paradoxes, challenges our culture's values, and makes us feel uncomfortable when we are called to examine our actions and our motivations. But - as you already know - just because something is challenging does not mean it is not worthwhile.

We know that you are intelligent and capable. We believe that you deserve answers to your questions, and explanations for the teachings with which you're struggling. We’ve all struggled with various aspects of our faith, but we aren’t here to judge or condemn you. We simply want to listen to what you’re feeling. We want to understand what is making you uncertain about being part of our Catholic faith. We want to help you find the answers and explanations that helped bring us home. We want to meet you, we want to hear about your experience, and most importantly, we want to invite you back.

Feel free to email any of us with questions or concerns you may have about the Church, her teachings, or what reversion means. If you’re not ready to bare your soul to complete strangers, we’d love to direct you to sites that helped us (and still help us) as we discerned our calling in life.

Wherever you are, whatever you believe, know that we are praying for you. You are our sister - another woman navigating a challenging world. We look forward to talking with you!

In The Peace and Love of Christ,

The members of #cathsorority

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Will They Call Me Devout?

DISCLAIMER: This is a personal revelation.  I mean absolutely no offense to anyone who is in a different place than I am in their Catholic journey.  I will not accept any negative comments related to my Catholicism.
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I had a thought the other day... Am I a devout Catholic? Will my child refer to her parents as such?  What makes one devout? Who decides when the requirements are met to be considered devout?

I have often heard of others described as devout Catholics, but never considered it as a goal.  It is generally said in recollection, as in, "My grandmother was a devout Catholic."

I have said, more than once in the last six months, that my husband and I are "loyal to the magisterium" and that we know and practice church teachings. I didn't think much of it at the time because of the nature of the conversation was directly related to a church teaching.

We take part in and enjoy Catholic Radio, our twitter and facebook pages have a high number of Catholic friends and followers.  We both belong to forums and groups where evangelizing and church teaching are main topics.  Dustin receives communion on the tongue. I have been discerning the practice of veiling. 

All of these things are small, if you take them individually, but as a whole, what do they say about my faith. What does it say about my family. 

While talking to a friend, I mentioned my desire to visit the shrine at Mount St. Mary's in Maryland.  She didn't know what I was talking about... At that moment it occurred to me I might be one of "those" Catholics.  One of those faithful, practicing, church-loving, devout Catholics. 

According to dictionary.com, devout is an adjective with 3 meanings.
1. devoted to divine worship or service; pious; religious: a devout Catholic.

2. expressing devotion or piety: devout prayer. 

3. earnest or sincere; hearty: He had a devout allegiance to the political regime.

I was surprised to find that there were no negative definitions at urbandictionary.com as this website often has vulgar and negative user definition submissions.
1) Very/Deeply religious.
2) Devoted to a particular personal interest or cause, basically devoted to anything.
3) Deeply and sincerely felt or meant. 

I asked around and what some of my catholic friends had to say:

                   -I equate "devout" with "desire" - as in, a devout Catholic desires to BE Catholic; desires to live the Catholic faith out in daily life; desires to be in line with Church teaching; desires to be authentic; desires to be holy... etc. In this sense, one can be devout and struggle but it is the desire that gives meaning to the struggle.

                  -I consider myself "devout" because I am fully in line with the magisterium; I know what the Church teaches and actually believe it... I try to keep the commandments, etc

                  -I've always thought devout was just an extra term to say: "I like my faith and practice it" as opposed to just "I grew up Catholic" or "I'm of the Catholic faith but don't practice/believe it/pay attention to it."

                  -On a really, really basic level: devout Catholics know what the Church teaches and actually live it out, as opposed to not giving a damn what the Church teaches and still calling themselves Catholic. I'd say it boils down to actually at least trying to live out what the Church teaches (if that makes sense...we all fall short, but we keep trying!)

Like I said earlier, I did not imagine that a devotion to my faith was something that I would use to measure my self. I did not imagine that I would be so in love with my God that I would want to embrace His church in such a way that I would be labeled as anything other than a Christian. I did not know I would be happy to be considered such a thing as a devout Catholic. 

What about the negatives?

Perception... Is being devout the same to someone who does not believe the same things about religion as I do, what about 'keeping up appearances' and wanting to blend in with the crowd? 

Some more thoughts from friends:

                 -Non-Catholics probably think that devout Catholics are the super judge-y Catholics, holier-than-thou, 10 zillion kids type Catholics!

                  -I think outsiders see devout Catholics as either Mother Angelica types (if she was humorless) or Christmas & Easter Catholics, I think many people think Catholics don't have to do anything & can just go to confession

I pray that being a devoutly religious person (Catholic or not) continues to be a positive thing. 

Don't get me wrong, here. My halo gets dusty from time to time. Everyone has room to grow.  There are things I struggle with.   My biggest problem is that I am not a huge fan of the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  I do it, though, because it is actually a gift from the Lord to hear that my sins are forgiven.  Click for a short video and some info about Confession. 

I suppose I have a choice to make here. Do I keep living my faith quietly, or do I listed to what Jesus is telling me and "Go, make disciples of all people" ...

The thing is, even if I stopped listening to The Catholic Channel on Sirius XM, even if I unfriended and unfollowed all my social media contacts, even if I tried to stop going to church every week... I would still be devoted to the Lord.  I would still be devoted to Jesus.  I would still have affection for Mary. I would still ask St. Anthony to help me find my keys. I would still. I am devout.

What an incredible blessing the Lord has given me.

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Give a Little Gift

I was born 8 weeks early. I have spent my entire pregnancy praying my baby would not be premature. I have a friend, Janet, and her husband, Mike, who weren't as lucky as I have been.  They don't know I'm writing this post, and I really hope they don't mind. I'll show it to them when we're done here...

Janet and Mike are a sweet couple, smart, and funny. I enjoy their company.  I met them through a friend a few years ago.  

Janet and Mike got pregnant with twins after being married over a decade.  They delivered their babies early, 16 weeks early.  Which means their twins Jaina and Cade were born at 24 weeks. Sweet baby Jaina fought hard for a few days, but is now waiting in heaven for her family.  Cade spent about 4 months in the NICU surrounded by nurses and doctors who cared for him expertly.

I cannot imagine travelling back and forth every day like Janet and Mike.
I cannot imagine the pain of bringing Cade home without his sister.

Cade 4mo old and home!

Why am I telling you this story and showing you an adorable baby photo?  Janet is participating in the March Of Dimes walk and is raising money in honor of her beautiful son Cade, and in memory of her precious daughter Jaina. I'm hoping that by being a friend of TheCatholicLovebirds and all that we love, you might consider donating to this fight.  There are so many babies born early, March of Dimes is doing everything they can to prevent this. When it can't be prevented March of Dimes does what they can to support these babies and their families.  Think of all your friends, how many have been affected by miscarriage, early births, premature or preterm births, birth defects?  Then click the link below and donate.  Donate in honor of the babies that fight to become adults.   Could you give a dollar? One dollar isn't much of a sacrifice really when you think of it... You've probably got that much between the couch cushions.

I've committed to donate a dollar amount equivalent to the weeks at which Lucy is born. What will you commit to?  Pickel Family MOD page

MOD mission statement

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Maria, pregare per loro

 Excuse my Google Translator version of Italian.  I found this photo in a slideshow here, and was compelled to share it. I cannot imagine the terror and fear that the passengers and crew of the Costa Concordia felt that first night, or what they are going through now.  This photo reminds us we can always seek a mother's comfort. Mary is here to pray for us, even in a tragedy she can be found to put her arms around those who need her. 

Mary, pray for them.

Divers recover a statue of the Madonna from inside the chapel of the Costa Concordia cruise ship.

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Encouraging letter helps me see value of prayer

My wife Allicia and I received this in the mail a few days ago.

It is a letter from my parents church, First Baptist in Waldron, Ark., notifying us that they took a few minutes to pray for us out loud, with signatures from those in attendance for the Wednesday night service.

It hasn't been the easiest few months, what with Allicia's car getting wrecked and all. True, things could be much worse, as our unborn child is still happy and healthy, and we are able to pay the bills on time for the most part. But still, things could be just a little better.

The letter was extremely touching. It's a reminder to me that ALL of us Christians, whether Catholic or Baptist, are in this fight together. We have doctrinal differences that prevent us from worshipping in the same building. And sometimes those differences can help us lose sight of what's important: that we love each other the way Christ commanded us to do.

I know I've forgotten that more than a handful of times. After receiving written proof that other people keep my wife and I in their prayers, I am going to focus on praying for other Christians in my prayers. Not just family, friends and our Church.

I am so very thankful that when we visit my parents in Arkansas, we have two wonderful churches that we can call home. Thank you to St. Jude's and Waldron FBC for always being so kind to us every time we walk through your doors.

God bless.

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10 years of romance and prayer inside of a shoebox

For 11 years or so, I kept a secret from every woman I've ever dated, that I finally got to reveal to my bride the night before our wedding.

A shoebox under the bed was the object I hid for so many years.

This wasn't some crazy shoe box with a man's head inside of it, nor was it a pair of tennis shoes I was too lazy to remove from their rainbow-colored box. Far from it. No, this was a box filled with love.

You see, 10+ years ago at Super Summer in Arkadelphia, Ark., when I was in high school, a woman told us of one of the most romantic things in the world. She said to get a box, write love letters, and give them to your future spouse.

Well hot dog, that was right up my alley. I was crazy romantic in high school, almost to a fault of worshipping superficial signs of romantic attraction, but this sounded like a great idea. I loved to write, I loved love, and I loved my future spouse. Praying for her and writing to her were foreign concepts until that day.

So I got busy writing letters, putting them in a shoebox that I decorated with different colored printer paper. I wrote the date down on the bottom of the box, and got busy. Some letters I wrote over the years were silly and sappy. Some of them, ones I dare not share online, were full of shame and remorse. Regardless of the mood, I poured my heart out in each letter, just like I was talking to my wife. And with each letter, I made sure to say a prayer for that mystery girl.

Here's one from January 23, 2002:

This is just something I wanted to write to you about. My eyes are tearing up just thinking about you, and how wonderful you truly are. Everything about you is something I treasure. Your warmth and kindness, your ability to listen, your willingness to listen, oh I could go on and on but I'll stop. 

_____________, I plan to spend the best years of my life with you. For me, there is no escape hatch. When I say "I do," I mean it. Even now I dream about you. And in 20 years, that will remain the same.

You are my everything. I thank God for us everyday. I love you.

Ok, so not my best writing, but I like to think that nine years of practice makes me better.

And I knew that no matter how cheesy my writing, my future wife would appreciate it.

For the next 10 years, I did my best to write as much as I could. The frequency died down when I got into college and started living a lifestyle that God was not proud of. I just felt so ashamed of myself that I couldn't bring myself to face my wife, in the form of that box.

That pain eventually went away, and while I thought about destroying the box (thinking that it was useless since I couldn't keep my promise of abstaining sexually), common sense won out, and the rainbow-colored shoe box traveled with me everywhere I went. I never felt tempted to tell anyone I dated about that box, for fear that knowledge of my letters would ruin the surprise if that girl turned out to be the woman I married (I think I told maybe five people about that box).

Eventually, I started dating Allicia, and when things got serious, I had my box with me. As the wedding got closer and closer, I kept thinking about the best way to present it to her. The rehearsal dinner? The honeymoon night? The Wedding itself? And what if she didn't even like the box? What if she just shrugged her shoulders and set it aside? What a letdown that would be!

Eventually I decided on the wedding rehearsal. I wanted the night to be a special one, surrounded by friends and family. I also knew that this was crazy romantic, and wanted others to be inspired (and yes, deep down a small part of me wanted everyone to see how cool I was for coming up with this idea a decade ago).

So as everyone got ready to eat, I stood up for big speech time. I can't remember exactly what was said, but I thanked everyone for coming, and told them that I didn't feel special enough for people to travel 1,000+ miles to see me for one weekend. I then turned to my bride, and told her she was the most amazing person that I had ever met.

"You see, I've been praying for you all my life," I said with a choked up voice as I reached under my seat to grab a container of so many emotions. "I've spent the last ten years writing love letters to you, praying for that amazing woman that God has for me. And now, I don't have to write letters to an anonymous person anymore. I have a name, I know who she is now, and I thank God for her every day."

And I got the reaction I dreamed of for so many years. Beyond words, beyond appreciation, tears. I worked so hard for so many years, and to be able to give her that box as a completion of this prayerful journey was the greatest reward (other than the actual marriage) that weekend gave to me.

I had no idea who this person was that I was writing to over the years. Hell, for all I knew, maybe there wouldn't be anyone to give that to. To finally cap those years of curiosity off on such a special occasion is something I'll never forget.

Now when I pray for my wife, I truly do have a name to pray for. And I couldn't be more blessed.

For any guy or girl who is still single, I highly encourage you to start a box like this. Sure it's a little bit of work, but the payoff is big. Being able to tell your spouse that you've been praying for them for so many years is rewarding, and it will enrich both her life and yours as well. Nothing shows you care like prayer, and if your marriage means anything to you, you'll start praying for it now. 

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