Whew! Finally, I have a free moment to type.
The reason I haven't blogged more often is because my customer service job has gotten crazy busy in the last few weeks. Due to tax season and some new programs we are taking part in, work has been offering overtime. So my schedule the last few days has actually been 8 a.m. to 9 p.m. By the time I come home, kiss my wife and hug my dog, there isn't much time to do anything else.
It's tiresome, doing all of that overtime, but I somehow feel spiritually obligated to do so. I think it would be wrong of me to pray for God to provide us with more financial assistance, then turn down an opportunity to get that assistance.
So I'll keep working until baby Lucy gets here. Then it's paycheck be damned! Well, for a week at least, then back to work (my job does not offer paid paternity leave).
Also today, I was able to dust off some of my old records (once I found the power cord, as it had been a while since I had listened to them). There's something, as horribly cliche as it sounds, magical about listening to records. You don't get that big album art with an iPod, and the way that newer records are manufactured, you don't get as much scratching and popping like you do with older albums.
Anyways, I was listening to Rainy Days and Monday by The Carpenters tonight, and despite the depressing lyrics, somehow the song puts me in a good mood. Maybe it's just Karen's voice, or maybe it's the knowledge that there are other people who get down and out for no real good reason at all. Sure, rainy days and Mondays get me down too, but I dunno, maybe it's just working so many hours that gets me discouraged sometimes.
There's no positive flip side to it: If I didn't work as much, we wouldn't have the money to pay bills and that would get me down too. Don't get me wrong, I'm super elated that my beautiful wife and I are going to have a baby soon. I guess it's just fear of screwing up as a parent that has me feeling sad. It probably just makes me a normal parent who's scared of the future though.
I'm sure a little prayer and some happier Carpenter's songs will help.
You definitely are doing God's work by working overtime to provide for you family! And don't worry, my husband has rarely been around babies and kids and he is so wonderful with our daughter, everything comes so naturally to him and I think that will continue throughout her life!
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